Dear, Henley June,
Although you have yet to be born, I think of you often. I wonder WHAT wondrous acts God will call you to do. More importantly, I wonder WHO he will call you to be. The term ‘calling’ is thrown around quite often in the ecclesial world. I wish this were the case for the secular world. The truth is, God calls all of his children regardless of profession-regardless if they are listening. He first calls us to accept that we are his and how we use our gifts to lead others to him is our second calling. This differentiation is beautifully expressed in The Call by Os Guinness.
I believe God calls us in a variety of ways. The Holy Spirit can speak through; thoughts, feelings, experiences, and the voices of others. However, when I am stubbornly oblivious to all of these, the Triune God (in my clear-as-daily vernacular) articulates his next steps for me. Moments this holy have occurred twice in my life.
That April before we had graduated college, I decided to earn my Alternative Teaching Certificate in Texas and teach in the secular school setting. After the burnout I experienced from campus ministry and my local church internship, I needed a break from local church leadership. However, God’s agenda was different than mine. God’s agenda was better than mine.
That summer I ventured to the Epworth children’s home in St. Louis Missouri on a college mission trip. This mission trip was different than those I served on before, for we did not build houses, or deliver food, we taught. Epworth serves as a home and school to the most troubled young people in the inner-city area. Students usually end up there when Juvenile Hall can no longer contain them.
Epworth was their last chance. We tutored during the school hours, and held fun activities during the evening. It was amazing. I enjoyed working in the secular classroom setting. However, the ecclesial setting fueled my soul more. Our last day five members of our team and I were sent to lead worship at the women’s lockdown unit. These young ladies would be those whose crimes were so severe; they were forced to live in quarters very similar to those in prison. Although, I was somewhat nervous, I knew my PR skills and our team’s prayerfully prepared plan would bear fruit.
These young women were beautiful. They welcomed us into their quarters and began gleefully chattering about their upcoming Prom. I doubted if these gentle spirits were even capable of breaking the law. After this trusting relationship was established, we began the worship service. Surprisingly, they were not at all hesitant to discuss their thoughts on God or His Word. As I strummed my guitar and sang along with them to the song Jesus, Love of My Soul, tears slowly ran down my face, and the Holy Spirit whispered in my heart, “I made you for this, I made you for this.” I guess God must know how “well” I take direction, which is why he repeated it.
Only once before, have I experienced the voice of God so intelligibly. I was ten. We had just moved back to Texas and life was not so good. My parents were separated. My Great Grandmother had just been diagnosed with cancer. The seven of us were living in my grandparent’s two bedroom house. Thank goodness this was a temporary arrangement. I was in Mema’s guest room sitting on the bed. A bit of sunshine peaked through the blinds, and in my young heart, I heard, “I am here. It will all be ok.” My entire being was filled with peace.
This time, though, as I set in the lockdown unit, the words were much louder.
I knew at that moment, that though I loved to teach and create lesson plans- I was not made for the secular school system. I was made to use my gifts of; communication, creativity and team building to assist others on their spiritual journey. As soon as I returned home from Epworth, I began prayerfully applying to ministerial positions. Within a month’s time, I received four offers. This was huge affirmation to me that I was becoming more in line with my call. To add to the excitement, the church where I carried out my internship was hiring.
God reveals one chapter at a time in the novel of one’s life calling. If one is in tune with the hums of the Holy Spirit, she will be blessed with her next step. Trust your heart. There will come a day when the Holy Spirit speaks differently than your good-intentioned mentors. Take note when; time flies, your hearts leaps for joy, and certain tasks come naturally easy to you. What are you doing at such moments? Do these moments bear fruit for God’s Kingdom? Is this part of God’s call on your life? Possibly.
One’s calling is not meant to be followed to earn God’s love; for this could never be earned. It is freely (and unconditionally) given. God desires for you to truly live. This can only occur by answering the call. Christ is counting on you to partner with Him to transform the world. This can only occur by living out your call.